I hop on the plane to Chicago in just five short days! This is my once a year weekend "me trip". Every year I take a trip all alone. No friends, family, students, teachers or otherwise. It's usually to a place where nobody knows who I am and I can just relax. Usually I forget about my cell phone and the Internet.
This years getaway will be a bit different but it still includes a king sizes bed in a nice hotel that's ALL MINE!
Since it is Kinky Kollege I'll blog and tweet a bit while I'm there.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
What I want
I've been thinking a lot lately about exactly what I want in life. As far as career and education I've pretty much got that figured out. Where I found myself a little lost is in the area of a relationship and the lifestyle.
Obviously I want to fall in love and be loved and all that mushy shit that every girl wants. The big question is how does the lifestyle fit into all of this.
I'm a masochist, an edge player, I like breath play, I like it when he makes me bleed, I love staples and needles and fire and bruises. Sometimes people mistake this for me not liking the softer side of things.
The thing is, the softer side of the lifestyle that sensual side is what I've been missing. However it's not something I want from just anybody. I want a Master who will cuddle with me and treat me as his pet.
I had a hard time coming to terms with this because every dom I ever talked to about this thought I was looking for a Daddy. I'M NOT! I in no way shape or form am needing a daddy. I have a dad and I'm rather indifferent when it comes to him. I haven't seen him since I was 16. Why would I go looking for that dynamic in my sexual relationships? For those that are seeking that it works it just doesn't work for me. I finally realized just a few weeks ago that while I may not want to be someones "little girl" I desperately want to be someones pet. A pet that is loved and cherished but trained to please her master. I'm not really even referring to puppy play or anything like that (though I'm not against a collar and a leash hehe). I just think that pet describes perfectly the softer side of what I seek in the lifestyle.
I think I've just had a hard time finding someone that encompasses both aspects (the rougher masochistic side and the softer pet side) of who I am in the lifestyle and so all my relationships and partnerships have been miserable failures. Some would suggest multiple partners but I can tell you that simply isn't for me. I have a jealous streak about 10 miles wide and the thought of me sharing a man is awful and I could never ask two partners to share me. Scening with more than one partner is cool but the idea of having a committed relationship with more than one person sends shivers up my spine. I applaud those with the ability to do it, I simply can't.
Anyway this is some of what has been weighing on my mind the past couple of weeks. I'm not sure if I'll ever find exactly what I'm looking for but I don't plan on settling for something less than what I seek.
Obviously I want to fall in love and be loved and all that mushy shit that every girl wants. The big question is how does the lifestyle fit into all of this.
I'm a masochist, an edge player, I like breath play, I like it when he makes me bleed, I love staples and needles and fire and bruises. Sometimes people mistake this for me not liking the softer side of things.
The thing is, the softer side of the lifestyle that sensual side is what I've been missing. However it's not something I want from just anybody. I want a Master who will cuddle with me and treat me as his pet.
I had a hard time coming to terms with this because every dom I ever talked to about this thought I was looking for a Daddy. I'M NOT! I in no way shape or form am needing a daddy. I have a dad and I'm rather indifferent when it comes to him. I haven't seen him since I was 16. Why would I go looking for that dynamic in my sexual relationships? For those that are seeking that it works it just doesn't work for me. I finally realized just a few weeks ago that while I may not want to be someones "little girl" I desperately want to be someones pet. A pet that is loved and cherished but trained to please her master. I'm not really even referring to puppy play or anything like that (though I'm not against a collar and a leash hehe). I just think that pet describes perfectly the softer side of what I seek in the lifestyle.
I think I've just had a hard time finding someone that encompasses both aspects (the rougher masochistic side and the softer pet side) of who I am in the lifestyle and so all my relationships and partnerships have been miserable failures. Some would suggest multiple partners but I can tell you that simply isn't for me. I have a jealous streak about 10 miles wide and the thought of me sharing a man is awful and I could never ask two partners to share me. Scening with more than one partner is cool but the idea of having a committed relationship with more than one person sends shivers up my spine. I applaud those with the ability to do it, I simply can't.
Anyway this is some of what has been weighing on my mind the past couple of weeks. I'm not sure if I'll ever find exactly what I'm looking for but I don't plan on settling for something less than what I seek.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Long day
It's been a long day! Went to a beautiful wedding for some dear friends though! Just wanted to post and say hello before I head to bed. Hope everyone had a lovely day!
Staples
Staples
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Sad Face :(
So, my corset came today and I was super excited. I laced it up and tried it on IT WAS TOO BIG!!! :( I was planning on wearing it out this weekend but unless I wear it with a shirt underneath there is no way it will look right and my boobs would be popping out all night. At fetish events it wouldn't be a problem but it's not really a fetish event plus that's not how a corset is suppose to fit! I also have to lace it up to the point that there is absolutely no gap in the back in order to get it even remotely tight on my waste. I can't decide if I need to go down one or two sizes to get the right fit. I guess I gotta find something else to wear.
On a happier note, I did get one of my pairs of shoes in today and they are super sexy. I likes them ALOT!
So anyway I guess I gotta wait another week or so to get my corset. I guess it's ok as long as I have it by the time Kinky Kollege comes around.
Oh I also bought my staple gun today too! My personal toy bag is coming along nicely.
On a happier note, I did get one of my pairs of shoes in today and they are super sexy. I likes them ALOT!
So anyway I guess I gotta wait another week or so to get my corset. I guess it's ok as long as I have it by the time Kinky Kollege comes around.
Oh I also bought my staple gun today too! My personal toy bag is coming along nicely.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Sixty Days!
The countdown to my cruise has begun!
It is officially 60 days until we set sail!
In November me, my mom, and sister will be going on a cruise. It has been years since we have gotten to do something as a family because we all lead such different and busy lives. We are all super stoked about it.
Anyway, don't be suprised if I post a lot about the cruise lol. I'm gonna get more and more excited as time goes by!
It is officially 60 days until we set sail!
In November me, my mom, and sister will be going on a cruise. It has been years since we have gotten to do something as a family because we all lead such different and busy lives. We are all super stoked about it.
Anyway, don't be suprised if I post a lot about the cruise lol. I'm gonna get more and more excited as time goes by!
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
I did it!
So,
I finally got up the nerve and have made the decision to attend Kinky Kollege this year! I just booked my flight and paid for my registration. Now I just need to book my room and we will be all set. I'm a little nervouse but overall I am incredibly super duper excited!!! Not real sure about the whole going alone thing but even if I don't find a roommate I'm gonna go. It will be fun and I'll learn a lot I'm sure!
talk to y'all laterz
Staples
I finally got up the nerve and have made the decision to attend Kinky Kollege this year! I just booked my flight and paid for my registration. Now I just need to book my room and we will be all set. I'm a little nervouse but overall I am incredibly super duper excited!!! Not real sure about the whole going alone thing but even if I don't find a roommate I'm gonna go. It will be fun and I'll learn a lot I'm sure!
talk to y'all laterz
Staples
Blah :(
So I really do not feel good today. It's just your typical cold with a stuffy nose, sore throat, headache that sort of thing. If I weren't so tired I could handle it but I have not slept well the past few nights. Oh well, I've decided not to go to class tonight so maybe I can catch up on some sleep.
Anyway I just wanted to say hello since I said I would post something. I got confirmation that my needles shipped as well as my corset and one of the pairs of heels I ordered. I went a little nuts witht he whole online shopping thing the last few days. Thankfully once or twice a year I can afford to do that.
On another note, I think I'm gonna get to go to Kinky Kollege in Chicago this year. I'll have to go alone more than likely but thats ok. I decided I'm tired of waiting until I have a partner to do things like this. I have tried to go to a few other kink related weekend events but they always fall on weekends I'm too busy to go. Kinky Kollege just seems to have fallen on the perfect weekend for me.
Anyway I may not be going to class but thanks to the wonders of online teaching I still gotta participate in the discussion we've been having so I'm gonna read a bit and hope I don't fall asleep while doing so.
Talk to y'all later
Staples
Anyway I just wanted to say hello since I said I would post something. I got confirmation that my needles shipped as well as my corset and one of the pairs of heels I ordered. I went a little nuts witht he whole online shopping thing the last few days. Thankfully once or twice a year I can afford to do that.
On another note, I think I'm gonna get to go to Kinky Kollege in Chicago this year. I'll have to go alone more than likely but thats ok. I decided I'm tired of waiting until I have a partner to do things like this. I have tried to go to a few other kink related weekend events but they always fall on weekends I'm too busy to go. Kinky Kollege just seems to have fallen on the perfect weekend for me.
Anyway I may not be going to class but thanks to the wonders of online teaching I still gotta participate in the discussion we've been having so I'm gonna read a bit and hope I don't fall asleep while doing so.
Talk to y'all later
Staples
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)